1
00:00:00,048 --> 00:00:01,932
You're destined for success.

2
00:00:01,933 --> 00:00:03,601
You've tested off the charts.

3
00:00:03,602 --> 00:00:04,935
People love you.

4
00:00:04,936 --> 00:00:07,104
But more importantly, they need you.

5
00:00:07,105 --> 00:00:08,606
Why?

6
00:00:08,607 --> 00:00:12,143
Because you posses a
series of unique attributes.

7
00:00:12,144 --> 00:00:14,145
Thanks.

8
00:00:14,146 --> 00:00:16,680
I do still feel like
I'm on a journey, though,

9
00:00:16,681 --> 00:00:17,848
- of self-discovery.
- Shh.

10
00:00:17,849 --> 00:00:21,998
- Talking to the lozenge.
- Oh. The lozenge.

11
00:00:22,024 --> 00:00:23,424
Knock, knock.

12
00:00:23,425 --> 00:00:25,126
Terrence, how's the new
gig in customer service?

13
00:00:25,127 --> 00:00:26,361
Press 1 for awesome.

14
00:00:26,362 --> 00:00:28,029
Beep.

15
00:00:29,064 --> 00:00:32,066
Press 2 for billing.

16
00:00:32,067 --> 00:00:35,142
Fun fact... 2 is actually
the button for billing...

17
00:00:35,193 --> 00:00:36,627
- Okay, out, Terrence.
- Oh, absolutely.

18
00:00:36,628 --> 00:00:38,495
Oh! I almost forgot.

19
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:42,496
Our boss/my dad-in-law
asked me to deliver this.

20
00:00:51,209 --> 00:00:52,710
Is that what I think it is?

21
00:00:52,711 --> 00:00:55,646
Sam's inviting me to
the Santa Barbara house?

22
00:00:55,647 --> 00:00:56,914
Affirmative.

23
00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:03,454
Yes!

24
00:01:03,455 --> 00:01:06,290
Ye... ye...

25
00:01:09,627 --> 00:01:13,163
Sam only invites executives
that he's eyeing for promotion

26
00:01:13,164 --> 00:01:15,132
up to his weekend estate to hobnob.

27
00:01:15,133 --> 00:01:17,434
Whoa. Hobnob.

28
00:01:17,435 --> 00:01:18,769
No. Promotion.

29
00:01:18,770 --> 00:01:20,304
That's the exciting word, Charlie.

30
00:01:43,128 --> 00:01:44,261
Eliza. Eliza.

31
00:01:44,262 --> 00:01:48,232
Good morning, Henry! How are you?!

32
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,319
I'll tell you how I'm
not... hearing impaired.

33
00:01:50,345 --> 00:01:52,346
- You're shouting.
- Oh.

34
00:01:52,347 --> 00:01:54,848
Sorry, I was just doing
Kegels to riff raff.

35
00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:57,017
All right, well, I
wanted to let you know...

36
00:01:57,018 --> 00:01:58,352
Are you still doing them?

37
00:01:59,652 --> 00:02:01,889
Don't. Please stop doing them.

38
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,193
I need to cancel our
work session on Friday.

39
00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:08,295
Ooh. Hot date?

40
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:09,863
No, but I'm hopeful that's
on the horizon.

41
00:02:09,864 --> 00:02:10,864
Still waiting on this girl

42
00:02:10,865 --> 00:02:12,833
I'm getting fixed up
with to return my text.

43
00:02:12,834 --> 00:02:14,835
- She didn't return your text?
- No, but I'm sure she will eventually.

44
00:02:14,836 --> 00:02:17,805
Whoa-ho, a text is not
something you return eventually.

45
00:02:17,806 --> 00:02:20,841
Watch this.
Hi.

46
00:02:20,842 --> 00:02:22,476
See? Freddy texted me right back.

47
00:02:22,477 --> 00:02:25,846
Okay, well, I'm not concerned
with texting at this precise moment.

48
00:02:25,847 --> 00:02:28,576
See? Two more seconds,
and Freddy's already pissed I didn't reply.

49
00:02:28,602 --> 00:02:30,851
I get it. I get it.

50
00:02:30,852 --> 00:02:33,821
- Something momentous has happened.
- What?

51
00:02:33,822 --> 00:02:34,822
I have been invited

52
00:02:34,823 --> 00:02:39,092
to Sam Saperstein's ranch in Santa Barbara.

53
00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:44,465
Is that... is that a big deal, or... Look!

54
00:02:44,466 --> 00:02:47,768
- Where did you get that?
- Terrence.

55
00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:49,470
Oh, that must be some kind of mistake.

56
00:02:49,471 --> 00:02:50,838
This can't be right? Why?

57
00:02:50,839 --> 00:02:53,841
Because usually, these
retreats are Sam's way

58
00:02:53,842 --> 00:02:56,877
of vetting upper-level executives

59
00:02:56,878 --> 00:02:59,413
who are... you know, being eyed.

60
00:02:59,414 --> 00:03:02,883
Um...
I'm always being eyed.

61
00:03:02,884 --> 00:03:06,954
In fact, I would argue there is
no one in this company who gets eyed more.

62
00:03:06,955 --> 00:03:11,391
For example, when I exit a room,
it is impossible not to look.

63
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,060
First of all, that's not
what I meant by being eyed.

64
00:03:13,061 --> 00:03:14,528
Try not to look.

65
00:03:14,529 --> 00:03:16,042
- Eliza.
- Just try.

66
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:22,769
Oh, my God.

67
00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:25,038
Not looking.

68
00:03:30,912 --> 00:03:32,212
Still not looking.

69
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,130
Hold up, hold up.

70
00:03:50,131 --> 00:03:52,065
Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.

71
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:54,368
Nobody says "hold up"
that many times when exiting a room.

72
00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:59,759
P-please stop! You're gonna hurt yourself.

73
00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:01,907
Fine.

74
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,909
Fine.

75
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,514
Looked! Ha ha!

76
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,816
All right, this is exactly
what I'm talking about, Eliza.

77
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:13,118
You don't exactly exude professionalism,

78
00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:14,853
- so it's hard for me to imagine...
- What?

79
00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:17,022
That Saperstein would take
note of my unrivaled status

80
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,790
as this company's
top-performing sales rep?

81
00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:21,193
Seriously?
Because I'm not a dude in a suit,

82
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,428
you can't imagine that he would
reward my flawless track record

83
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,898
by making me, say, the director of sales?

84
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:28,233
This is not about you not
being a dude in a suit.

85
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:30,420
Furthermore, my job is harder than yours.

86
00:04:30,445 --> 00:04:32,947
I deal with doctors.
You sell to the general public,

87
00:04:32,948 --> 00:04:34,548
who will buy anything
you put in front of them

88
00:04:34,549 --> 00:04:37,160
if they think it'll help their
sticky, snot-covered kids.

89
00:04:37,199 --> 00:04:40,621
- Did you just say "furthermore"?
- Indeed. Henceforth, ergo...

90
00:04:40,622 --> 00:04:42,790
I should be promoted.

91
00:04:42,791 --> 00:04:46,093
- LLC.
- Maybe you're right.

92
00:04:46,094 --> 00:04:48,596
But?

93
00:04:48,597 --> 00:04:50,095
But...

94
00:04:50,108 --> 00:04:54,501
I think it's more likely
that you're my plus one.

95
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,428
- Plus one?
- Yes, I'm sorry, but...

96
00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:02,097
I'm nobody's plus one.

97
00:05:02,098 --> 00:05:05,834
- I'm V.I.P., bitches.
- "Bitches"? It's just me. One bitch.

98
00:05:05,835 --> 00:05:08,170
Was I plus one at Adam
Levine's Halloween party?

99
00:05:08,171 --> 00:05:10,372
At Avril Lavigne's Christmas party?

100
00:05:10,373 --> 00:05:13,008
At Sherri Shepherd's purse party?

101
00:05:13,009 --> 00:05:16,945
At the grand reopening
of the south Pasadena Victoria Secret,

102
00:05:16,946 --> 00:05:19,314
which I didn't go to, but
to which I was invited,

103
00:05:19,315 --> 00:05:21,791
and had I gone, I would
have received a free thong?

104
00:05:21,829 --> 00:05:23,219
Was I plus one at Target's

105
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:25,988
preferred shoppers black
Friday pre-sale? Hmm?

106
00:05:25,989 --> 00:05:28,212
Was I plus one
at Jennifer Meyer's irregular trunk sale?

107
00:05:28,224 --> 00:05:29,591
Was I a plus one at
Scott Disick's interven...

108
00:05:29,592 --> 00:05:31,159
Fine, Eliza, fine.

109
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:35,297
The point is, I receive plus ones.
I do not be them.

110
00:05:35,298 --> 00:05:37,466
Fine, I clearly touched
a nerve. I take it back.

111
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:39,267
I'm sorry. You were invited
here on your own merit.

112
00:05:39,268 --> 00:05:41,203
And you discriminate against hot redheads.

113
00:05:41,204 --> 00:05:43,705
And I, of course, discriminate
against hot redheads.

114
00:05:43,706 --> 00:05:45,707
And Eliza is not and never will be a...

115
00:05:45,708 --> 00:05:47,509
Plus one.

116
00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:49,511
There they are!

117
00:05:49,512 --> 00:05:51,380
The man of the hour.

118
00:05:52,415 --> 00:05:54,282
Plus one.

119
00:05:57,770 --> 00:05:59,604
Look. Look at it this way.

120
00:05:59,605 --> 00:06:01,506
He may see you as my plus one now,

121
00:06:01,507 --> 00:06:03,575
but by the time the weekend
is over, you could very well be

122
00:06:03,576 --> 00:06:05,177
on the other side of Sam's velvet rope.

123
00:06:05,178 --> 00:06:07,446
Please stop trying to relate
to me by using nightclub jargon.

124
00:06:07,447 --> 00:06:09,448
You're seriously just making it worse.

125
00:06:09,449 --> 00:06:11,534
- And I want to go home.
- No, you can't.

126
00:06:11,547 --> 00:06:13,181
He thinks you're my plus
one, and if you leave,

127
00:06:13,182 --> 00:06:15,583
I'll be negative one,
and I really don't want to start

128
00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:16,951
my big promotion weekend
off on a sour note.

129
00:06:16,952 --> 00:06:18,119
Here we go.

130
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,983
Compliments of rancho de Saperstein.

131
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:24,025
We've got monogrammed bath soaps,
natural honeycomb sea sponge...

132
00:06:24,026 --> 00:06:26,861
Uh, gold-dusted
organic Peruvian cacao nibs,

133
00:06:26,862 --> 00:06:28,196
and, of course,

134
00:06:28,197 --> 00:06:30,832
janimals, janimals
wearable stuffed animals.

135
00:06:30,833 --> 00:06:32,500
I'm the unicorn. I got the unicorn.

136
00:06:32,501 --> 00:06:33,469
Ah!

137
00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:34,969
Here's our itinerary.

138
00:06:34,970 --> 00:06:37,438
Please make us aware of
any dietary restrictions

139
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,207
or if you'd care to schedule any services.

140
00:06:39,208 --> 00:06:40,775
What kind of services.

141
00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:44,479
Oh, got hot rock rolfing,
Finnish fig facial,

142
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,614
aromatic mammogram, laser hair replacement,

143
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:47,749
Japanese wagu beef-style massage...

144
00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:50,225
In that moment,
I realized how much Henry needed me,

145
00:06:50,264 --> 00:06:52,720
so I decided to do something selfless.

146
00:06:52,721 --> 00:06:54,956
I want this one, this one,

147
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:57,759
this one, this, this, this, and this one.

148
00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,378
- Uh, you just pointed at all of them.
- Better make it two of this one.

149
00:07:01,697 --> 00:07:03,564
Thanks, T.

150
00:07:03,565 --> 00:07:04,616
Okay.

151
00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:06,301
You'll occupy the east wing,

152
00:07:06,302 --> 00:07:08,937
which overlooks Oprah's vineyard next door.

153
00:07:08,938 --> 00:07:10,806
Sir, your home is exquisite.

154
00:07:10,807 --> 00:07:13,609
A gorgeous Spanish colonial built in 1923,

155
00:07:13,610 --> 00:07:15,544
and yet she doesn't
look a day over timeless.

156
00:07:15,545 --> 00:07:17,713
Hey. What's your wi-fi network?

157
00:07:17,714 --> 00:07:20,605
I'm only seeing one here called,
uh, "not Gayle's network."

158
00:07:20,643 --> 00:07:23,078
Gayle's not the only
one not using a network.

159
00:07:23,079 --> 00:07:26,148
Here at rancho de Saperstein,
there is no network.

160
00:07:26,149 --> 00:07:27,582
No signal.

161
00:07:27,583 --> 00:07:28,583
We have nothing...

162
00:07:28,584 --> 00:07:29,785
... But each other.

163
00:07:29,786 --> 00:07:32,565
- Oh.
- I think you'll find that's all we need.

164
00:07:32,590 --> 00:07:34,224
It'll be okay.

165
00:07:34,225 --> 00:07:35,525
It'll be okay.

166
00:07:35,526 --> 00:07:38,895
Henry, you'll occupy
the split bamboo suite,

167
00:07:38,896 --> 00:07:42,499
named after my wife's
favorite "kama sutra" position.

168
00:07:56,747 --> 00:07:59,148
Enter.

169
00:07:59,149 --> 00:08:01,255
Hey.

170
00:08:01,294 --> 00:08:03,777
Can I borrow the shoe
polish from your welcome kit?

171
00:08:03,803 --> 00:08:06,104
Mine is empty and I only
got through one boot.

172
00:08:06,105 --> 00:08:08,273
- Look. The light barely dances.
- Oh! It's over there.

173
00:08:08,274 --> 00:08:10,441
- Thanks.
- Should I get Belgian blueberry waffles

174
00:08:10,442 --> 00:08:12,568
or three sides of bacon
tomorrow upon waking?

175
00:08:12,581 --> 00:08:13,848
Neither.

176
00:08:13,849 --> 00:08:16,685
You should come down to the table
and have breakfast with our hosts.

177
00:08:16,686 --> 00:08:17,986
It's not for eating.

178
00:08:17,987 --> 00:08:20,291
I just want the room to smell
like waffles when I wake up.

179
00:08:20,590 --> 00:08:22,590
Or bacon. No, no, waffles.

180
00:08:22,591 --> 00:08:24,292
No, bacon.

181
00:08:24,293 --> 00:08:27,295
I assume you've taken a moment
to review the weekend schedule,

182
00:08:27,296 --> 00:08:28,596
and I don't need to
impress upon you further

183
00:08:28,597 --> 00:08:31,430
that punctuality at
each event is imperative.

184
00:08:32,868 --> 00:08:34,869
Waffles and bacon!

185
00:08:34,870 --> 00:08:36,371
Huh?

186
00:08:36,372 --> 00:08:39,137
I suspect there'll be some opportunity
for small talk at breakfast tomorrow.

187
00:08:39,150 --> 00:08:41,018
I'll thank you to leave that to me.

188
00:08:41,019 --> 00:08:42,953
- Thank you.
- This is so frustrating.

189
00:08:42,954 --> 00:08:44,288
God.

190
00:08:44,289 --> 00:08:46,189
There's a caviar omelette on here,

191
00:08:46,190 --> 00:08:47,424
and I can't even tweet it till Monday.

192
00:08:47,425 --> 00:08:48,959
It's like, "ugh."

193
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,861
Over the juice course, I'll
casually share my vision

194
00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:51,962
for the future of our company.

195
00:08:51,963 --> 00:08:54,064
During melon, I'll segue into where

196
00:08:54,065 --> 00:08:56,900
I see our company going
5, 10 years down the road.

197
00:08:56,901 --> 00:08:58,535
Come afternoon, I'll wax nostalgic

198
00:08:58,536 --> 00:09:00,904
about my humble beginnings
as a junior executive,

199
00:09:00,905 --> 00:09:02,072
merrily sharing an anecdote

200
00:09:02,073 --> 00:09:04,908
that's both self-aggrandizing
and self-deprecating.

201
00:09:04,909 --> 00:09:07,702
Oh, my God, I'm gonna hang myself
by the janimals if you don't stop talking.

202
00:09:07,741 --> 00:09:09,642
Come dusk on the horse trail,

203
00:09:09,643 --> 00:09:12,378
having already shared, waxed, and segued,

204
00:09:12,379 --> 00:09:15,047
I'll complete the metaphor
of taming a steed...

205
00:09:15,048 --> 00:09:17,738
If being vetted for a promotion
means you have to act like Henry,

206
00:09:17,777 --> 00:09:19,244
I was kind of glad I was off the hook.

207
00:09:19,245 --> 00:09:23,081
He was driving both of us crazy
and missing out on loads of swag amenities,

208
00:09:23,082 --> 00:09:25,250
like slipper chocolate.

209
00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:32,239
The next morning, I slept in while Henry

210
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,575
bored the crap out of everyone over scones.

211
00:09:34,576 --> 00:09:37,932
Raj, Linda, Charmonique, and Joan
will be replaced by drones, and relocated

212
00:09:37,971 --> 00:09:40,213
to a newly-formed sister
facility in Albuquerque,

213
00:09:40,252 --> 00:09:42,721
who I understand is offering
some exciting incentives

214
00:09:42,722 --> 00:09:44,556
pertaining to corporate tax rates.

215
00:09:44,557 --> 00:09:47,525
And you know... you know what they say
about corporate tax rates.

216
00:09:47,526 --> 00:09:48,593
Hold up! The bigger the tax...

217
00:09:48,594 --> 00:09:49,627
Hold up! Hold up! There she is.

218
00:09:49,628 --> 00:09:50,762
Hold up! Hold up! Eliza! Morning.

219
00:09:50,763 --> 00:09:51,996
Oh, thank God.

220
00:09:51,997 --> 00:09:54,299
Sorry I'm late, but that
bed was literally like

221
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:55,900
sleeping on an angel's breast implants.

222
00:09:55,901 --> 00:09:58,536
Ohh. I don't think angels
augment their breasts.

223
00:09:58,537 --> 00:10:00,405
Sleeping in is not an uncommon occurrence

224
00:10:00,406 --> 00:10:01,840
here at rancho de Saperstein.

225
00:10:01,841 --> 00:10:03,341
It's the mattresses.

226
00:10:03,342 --> 00:10:05,810
Ohh. They're stuffed with
hand-curled koala fleece,

227
00:10:05,811 --> 00:10:07,579
which leads to a superior night's rest.

228
00:10:07,580 --> 00:10:09,681
I don't know much about koalas,

229
00:10:09,682 --> 00:10:12,283
but I do know that horses
are the ninth smartest animal.

230
00:10:12,284 --> 00:10:14,586
Shall we hit the stables?

231
00:10:14,587 --> 00:10:17,255
Huh? What can I say? I am hot to trot.

232
00:10:17,256 --> 00:10:19,915
Good to gallop. Cool to
canter. Down to dressage.

233
00:10:19,941 --> 00:10:23,744
My! Someone really has
researched their horse words.

234
00:10:23,745 --> 00:10:26,613
Eliza, should we
wait for you to get changed?

235
00:10:26,614 --> 00:10:27,582
Mnh-mnh. No way.

236
00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:29,750
I'm not into horses. They smell like hobos.

237
00:10:29,751 --> 00:10:31,752
All I want to do is lay on a towel,

238
00:10:31,753 --> 00:10:33,754
drink out of a pineapple,
and find out what the quack

239
00:10:33,755 --> 00:10:35,789
went wrong in Nick and Mariah's marriage

240
00:10:35,790 --> 00:10:37,758
and why the custody
arrangement is for dembabies.

241
00:10:37,759 --> 00:10:39,087
That sounds... like paradise.

242
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,439
I'll strap on the speedo,
and we'll meet at the pool.

243
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,707
Mm, great.

244
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,642
Uh, what about the horses?
What about the riding?

245
00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:48,045
If I know anything about
horses, Henry, they'll wait.

246
00:10:58,190 --> 00:11:01,292
- Aren't you gonna change?
- Into what? I didn't bring swim gear.

247
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,065
Why? Because swimming
was not on the itinerary.

248
00:11:03,091 --> 00:11:04,625
Well, the itinerary changed.

249
00:11:04,626 --> 00:11:06,360
You have to be able to
go with the flow, Henry.

250
00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:07,695
And you have to stop
trying to control the flow.

251
00:11:07,696 --> 00:11:11,766
It's not my fault everyone
always wants to do what I do.

252
00:11:11,767 --> 00:11:15,570
It's like when I got bangs
and then Michelle Obama got bangs.

253
00:11:15,571 --> 00:11:17,738
And when I said, "kids are so fat,"

254
00:11:17,739 --> 00:11:20,408
and then she jumped on the whole
childhood obesity bandwagon.

255
00:11:20,409 --> 00:11:23,044
And then when I started wearing
lots of sleeveless stuff,

256
00:11:23,045 --> 00:11:25,813
who suddenly had their
arms showing all the time?

257
00:11:25,814 --> 00:11:29,079
The first lady of nonstop riding my jock.

258
00:11:29,117 --> 00:11:31,118
Well, if you don't mind,

259
00:11:31,119 --> 00:11:33,787
now that everyone's had their
fun copying you by the pool,

260
00:11:33,788 --> 00:11:35,956
I'd like to reintroduce the
idea of horseback riding...

261
00:11:35,957 --> 00:11:37,891
- Yay...
- Which I spent three years

262
00:11:37,892 --> 00:11:40,360
and over $16,000 learning how to do.

263
00:11:40,361 --> 00:11:43,030
All I ask is that you don't
do anything to derail it.

264
00:11:43,031 --> 00:11:45,412
You have my word.

265
00:11:45,424 --> 00:11:47,625
And while you guys are
riding, I'm gonna sneak off

266
00:11:47,626 --> 00:11:49,460
and see if I can catch an Oprah sighting.

267
00:11:49,461 --> 00:11:51,329
I'd totally go Oprah watching.

268
00:11:51,330 --> 00:11:54,332
Oh, yeah, me, too. Totally.
Oprah watching? Oh!

269
00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:56,401
If we leave before dark,
we can hike up to the lake.

270
00:11:56,402 --> 00:11:59,971
Wonderful!
I'll slip into my ambling kilt.

271
00:11:59,972 --> 00:12:03,841
No! My strolling culottes.
Let's go.

272
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:08,028
Want me to tell Oprah you say hey?

273
00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:11,698
Louis.

274
00:12:11,699 --> 00:12:13,667
I'm gonna need a pineapple to go.

275
00:12:13,668 --> 00:12:15,135
Do you want a pineapple?

276
00:12:15,136 --> 00:12:16,803
- Pineapple?
- Yeah.

277
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,972
Make it two.

278
00:12:18,973 --> 00:12:22,943
I was trying to get Henry to relax,
but it wasn't easy.

279
00:12:22,944 --> 00:12:24,945
He was crushing his chance of promotion,

280
00:12:24,946 --> 00:12:27,814
and not in the urban dictionary sense.

281
00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:30,283
Into a top-selling furniture sealant.

282
00:12:30,284 --> 00:12:32,285
Shh! Ooh.

283
00:12:32,286 --> 00:12:35,922
Stop talking, Henry. Stop... Stop talking.

284
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,057
Do you hear that?

285
00:12:38,372 --> 00:12:42,042
The frantic mating song of
the yellow-throated warbler.

286
00:12:42,043 --> 00:12:43,643
Ahh.

287
00:12:43,644 --> 00:12:45,312
I know I'm horny.

288
00:12:46,580 --> 00:12:50,417
Seriously, though, have you
ever heard a sound so sweet?

289
00:12:51,322 --> 00:12:54,023
- Henry, you got to relax.
- I can't relax.

290
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,392
He cut me off before I could deprecate.
I still need to deprecate.

291
00:12:56,393 --> 00:12:58,561
Eliza, wait till
you see what's just up ahead!

292
00:12:58,562 --> 00:13:01,564
- Oh, my God, I can't wait.
- I'm bombing. I'm tanking.

293
00:13:01,565 --> 00:13:03,399
I can feel the promotion
slipping through my fingers.

294
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:04,678
- I can feel it.
- You're overthinking it.

295
00:13:04,729 --> 00:13:07,030
Don't overthink it. Just try to have fun.

296
00:13:07,031 --> 00:13:08,565
I'm not having fun.

297
00:13:08,566 --> 00:13:10,667
Can you maybe try to, like,
look like you're having fun?

298
00:13:14,421 --> 00:13:15,792
Are you having a nosebleed?

299
00:13:15,793 --> 00:13:18,361
- What?
- Hurry up, slowpokes!

300
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:19,663
Do something fun.

301
00:13:19,664 --> 00:13:23,333
Before the day's over,
do one fun thing, okay?

302
00:13:23,334 --> 00:13:25,468
Just so Saperstein knows you're capable.

303
00:13:25,469 --> 00:13:26,803
Good idea. Okay.

304
00:13:26,804 --> 00:13:29,906
Got it.

305
00:13:34,512 --> 00:13:37,380
Reunited with her one true love.

306
00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:39,215
When I was voted "milf of the moment"

307
00:13:39,216 --> 00:13:42,218
by Montecito quarterly, we
shot my cover photo right here.

308
00:13:42,219 --> 00:13:44,654
Now, tell why. Don't be modest.

309
00:13:44,655 --> 00:13:45,989
I saved this lake.

310
00:13:45,990 --> 00:13:49,492
Mom chaired the conservancy group
that had it declared a freshwater preserve.

311
00:13:49,493 --> 00:13:53,363
It's been off-limits to development
or any form of recreation.

312
00:13:53,364 --> 00:13:54,998
In fact, it's been
untouched by human beings...

313
00:13:54,999 --> 00:13:58,702
Cannonball!

314
00:13:58,703 --> 00:14:00,637
Oh! No!

315
00:14:03,307 --> 00:14:06,443
Whoo!

316
00:14:07,445 --> 00:14:09,279
Get in here! Come on. Oh, my God.

317
00:14:10,948 --> 00:14:13,516
Why is everyone crying?

318
00:14:14,889 --> 00:14:17,546
- It's over.
- Eh.

319
00:14:17,547 --> 00:14:18,914
It's not a big deal.

320
00:14:18,915 --> 00:14:21,951
I mean, I can't check,
but it bet it's not even trending,

321
00:14:21,952 --> 00:14:24,086
so, you know, the only
people who know about you

322
00:14:24,087 --> 00:14:27,022
jumping into a forbidden lake
are your boss, his family,

323
00:14:27,023 --> 00:14:30,516
the Montecito branch of the
epa, and maybe, like, stedman.

324
00:14:30,594 --> 00:14:33,363
My chances for a promotion are dead,

325
00:14:33,364 --> 00:14:36,332
just like the fragile
ecosystem of that lake.

326
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:37,433
I'm s...

327
00:14:37,434 --> 00:14:41,237
Oh, my God, uh, Henry, don't freak out,
but, uh, you have a... a leech on your...

328
00:14:41,238 --> 00:14:42,372
Yes, I do have a leech,

329
00:14:42,373 --> 00:14:44,307
a leech that's been
sucking the life out of me

330
00:14:44,308 --> 00:14:45,642
all weekend, and her name is Eliza Dooley.

331
00:14:45,643 --> 00:14:46,809
I'm a leech?

332
00:14:46,810 --> 00:14:48,911
You practically begged
me to stay here, so...

333
00:14:48,912 --> 00:14:50,313
Well, that was my mistake.

334
00:14:50,314 --> 00:14:52,615
And it was my mistake for listening to you.

335
00:14:52,616 --> 00:14:55,218
You ruined my weekend!

336
00:14:55,219 --> 00:14:57,353
God, in all honesty,

337
00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:59,355
I think I preferred you
when you were on your phone.

338
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:03,226
Fine.

339
00:15:03,227 --> 00:15:05,695
Oh, my God, I have a leech on my neck.

340
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,830
I know. That's what I said.

341
00:15:07,831 --> 00:15:10,333
I was trying to help you!

342
00:15:10,647 --> 00:15:13,770
I've been trying to help.

343
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,377
Aah!

344
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:24,347
Ugh. Gah.

345
00:15:24,348 --> 00:15:26,403
- What's the rule again? If it's cold...
- Wait.

346
00:15:26,506 --> 00:15:28,406
- And if it's hot?
- Not.

347
00:15:28,407 --> 00:15:29,741
And if it's yellow, let it mellow?

348
00:15:29,742 --> 00:15:31,743
Terrence.

349
00:15:31,744 --> 00:15:33,912
I'm sorry I'm late.

350
00:15:33,913 --> 00:15:35,747
Sorry I'm late.

351
00:15:35,748 --> 00:15:37,582
And I'm never late.

352
00:15:37,583 --> 00:15:39,751
As a matter of fact, I'm usually early.

353
00:15:39,752 --> 00:15:42,354
Punctuality, sir,
is an attribute I pride myself on.

354
00:15:42,355 --> 00:15:44,923
Where's your better half?

355
00:15:44,924 --> 00:15:47,692
Eliza? She's gone, sir.

356
00:15:47,693 --> 00:15:49,662
I believe she's gone.

357
00:15:49,945 --> 00:15:54,032
I fouled it up, just like I fouled up
everything else this weekend.

358
00:15:54,033 --> 00:15:55,534
I had a plan.

359
00:15:55,535 --> 00:15:58,637
Some might call it a
perfect, flawless plan,

360
00:15:58,638 --> 00:16:00,472
one that took the better
part of three years

361
00:16:00,473 --> 00:16:02,674
and $16,000 to put into action.

362
00:16:02,675 --> 00:16:05,410
But things don't always
go according to plan.

363
00:16:05,411 --> 00:16:08,346
And when they don't, I tend to unravel.

364
00:16:08,347 --> 00:16:10,629
I guess what I'm trying to say is...

365
00:16:11,813 --> 00:16:14,771
I'm so sorry this weekend
was such a disaster, sir.

366
00:16:19,859 --> 00:16:22,433
Brava, Henry.
Brava.

367
00:16:22,651 --> 00:16:26,654
Methinks this weekend
was the opposite of a disaster.

368
00:16:26,655 --> 00:16:30,389
Methinks this weekend has
been an unbridled success.

369
00:16:30,427 --> 00:16:33,128
And can I tell you
something, honestly, son?

370
00:16:33,129 --> 00:16:35,297
I have always wanted to
splash about in that lake.

371
00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:38,710
- Sam.
- Come on, Yazmin. This is a safe space.

372
00:16:38,749 --> 00:16:42,051
Henry, all I wanted was
a chance to see this side of you,

373
00:16:42,052 --> 00:16:44,107
not the pre-packaged Henry product,

374
00:16:44,364 --> 00:16:46,532
perfectly formulated for success,

375
00:16:46,533 --> 00:16:48,534
but the flawed, beautiful,

376
00:16:48,535 --> 00:16:51,037
lake-jumping mess that
lives inside of us all.

377
00:16:51,038 --> 00:16:53,539
That's why in invited Eliza, quite frankly.

378
00:16:53,540 --> 00:16:57,710
You know, I, uh, can't help but notice
you're a lot more lifelike around her.

379
00:16:57,711 --> 00:16:59,745
- I am, aren't it?
- I mean, look at you.

380
00:16:59,746 --> 00:17:01,447
I mean, you're late for dinner,

381
00:17:01,448 --> 00:17:03,783
your shirt's untucked,
you cut yourself shaving.

382
00:17:03,784 --> 00:17:06,018
- Oh, that's from the leeches, sir.
- From the leeches.

383
00:17:06,019 --> 00:17:07,854
You see what I mean?

384
00:17:07,855 --> 00:17:10,790
You probably had more fun this
weekend than you have all year.

385
00:17:10,791 --> 00:17:12,291
She's the perfect plus one.

386
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:15,394
Actually, sir, she's more than a plus one.

387
00:17:16,697 --> 00:17:19,632
She's V.I.P.

388
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,176
Eliza!

389
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,811
Eliza!

390
00:17:41,452 --> 00:17:44,287
How could there be no bars?

391
00:17:44,288 --> 00:17:45,955
It's like we're in the middle '80s.

392
00:18:01,027 --> 00:18:03,428
Okay.

393
00:18:03,429 --> 00:18:04,397
I'm still super mad,

394
00:18:04,398 --> 00:18:06,932
but you just rode the
crap out of that horse.

395
00:18:06,933 --> 00:18:09,434
Eliza, I'm sorry.

396
00:18:09,435 --> 00:18:10,902
I wasn't listening to you.

397
00:18:10,903 --> 00:18:13,905
You weren't hurting me this weekend.
You were helping me.

398
00:18:13,906 --> 00:18:15,374
Let me guess.

399
00:18:15,375 --> 00:18:17,943
- You got the promotion?
- I did.

400
00:18:17,944 --> 00:18:19,945
I did. I got the promotion.

401
00:18:19,946 --> 00:18:22,114
As Oprah would
say, "ye-e-e-s."

402
00:18:22,115 --> 00:18:23,949
"Ye-e-e-s."

403
00:18:23,950 --> 00:18:25,884
But that exclamation aside,

404
00:18:25,885 --> 00:18:28,420
I don't want you to
think that I value my job

405
00:18:28,421 --> 00:18:31,423
more than I value... our friendship.

406
00:18:32,692 --> 00:18:36,692
Because I swear it's a tie.

407
00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:39,898
A tie?

408
00:18:39,899 --> 00:18:42,367
Yes. A tie.

409
00:18:42,368 --> 00:18:45,604
There is now way that you
came galloping out here

410
00:18:45,605 --> 00:18:48,740
on that majestic horse,
bathed in moonlight,

411
00:18:48,741 --> 00:18:50,475
to tell me it's a tie.

412
00:18:50,476 --> 00:18:52,228
I took the least-majestic horse, I swear.

413
00:18:52,267 --> 00:18:54,969
In the stable, this thing
looked like a donkey.

414
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:56,403
You worship me.

415
00:18:56,404 --> 00:18:57,471
- Admit it.
- I do not worship... no.

416
00:18:57,472 --> 00:18:59,974
Just admit it. You worship me. It's okay.

417
00:18:59,975 --> 00:19:02,376
No, I-I have grown
accustomed to your face.

418
00:19:04,579 --> 00:19:06,046
Thank you.

419
00:19:07,582 --> 00:19:11,085
That horse is chewing really loudly.

420
00:19:11,086 --> 00:19:13,954
Yes, he is.

421
00:19:17,425 --> 00:19:19,260
Looks like you found your signal.

422
00:19:19,261 --> 00:19:23,130
Yeah. I guess I did.

423
00:19:26,434 --> 00:19:28,269
Ah. Got a text from Charlie.

424
00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:30,871
Freddy just sent me nudes.

425
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:43,856
Hey, you.

426
00:19:47,695 --> 00:19:49,195
Oh, very romantic.

427
00:19:49,196 --> 00:19:51,197
Oh, are you jealous?

428
00:19:51,198 --> 00:19:53,566
- Should I be?
- No.

429
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,034
And it got zero "likes,"
so I'm deleting it.

430
00:19:55,035 --> 00:19:56,603
Good. Yeah.

431
00:20:18,692 --> 00:20:22,762
Geronimo!

432
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:26,599
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

433
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,268
Whoo-hoo!

434
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,803
Yes!

435
00:20:29,866 --> 00:20:33,660
Sync and corrections by madhatters
www.addic7ed.com

436
00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:38,260
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0